I know you’ve all been riveted by my accounts of medical drama and my brats of hell. But I’d like to return to my favorite topic. Human behavior and relationships.
First though: a shout out to Maria Ocean. You, lady, are awesome. I am in awe of your accomplishment and your note to me made a hell day better. So thank you for being one of my six faithful readers.
Onto the other business: I’m a regular on iVillage. I read a lot. I learn a lot. There is a common theme that I encounter and it needs to be discussed.
If you’ve seen him naked you cannot be friends. It’s that simple ladies. *Braces for rash of “me and my ex are friends with no problem” emails.* Of course any theory can be disproved…if you are lying to yourself or to your mate or to me. Here are the facts:
Have either of you ever said “I love you” or done any expressing of emotions towards one another past “I made you a mix tape”?
Have either of you seen the other one naked?
Has their been any swapping of bodily fluids? (blood transfusions do not count)
Were you engaged or married to one another?
Exes are exes for a reason. When you break up with someone, it’s because they were not a friend to you. Or they were not good for you. Or you didn’t like to be with them. You weren’t compatible. Whatever the reason: you chose not to spend time together any longer. If you were the dumpee…well…you were dumped. Do not accept the step-down status of “friend”.
Once you have functioned as a couple, the relationship dynamic exists. Lingering jealousy or just a general nosy nature will always be present. When you’ve hit the sheets, that bell cannot be unrung. If it was possible to be friends, true friends post break up, why do you think 1,765 women and men a day (I make up statistics) ask the “Can we be friends?” question on relationship forums?
I’m really a firm believer of forward progression in life. Yes, life long friends are great things to have (shout out to my other faithful reader KKS) but exes are meant to be left behind. Truly. Don’t look at your life five years from now with the same annoying people in it that were just given new titles.
Ok. Lay it on me. Share all your “we are exes and are friends” anecdotes with me.
Tags: breaking up, relationships
I do not know who you are but you made me laugh out loud!! Sister you are down right funny!!
Oh…btw…no exes in my life…noway no how!!! That is just plain dumb!
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I’m also a frequenter on ivillage and some of those posts completely confound me. I don’t get the let’s be friends thing. I am “friendly” to all of my exes, but we don’t get together and have lunch etc. like I do with real friends. There is a huge difference and many times “friends” really just means “booty call.”
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