Let’s see, what has happened in the past few days? Devil Dog called my mother a “penis.” As in, “Kukla, you’re a penis.” He got a time out and upon his release he did apologize. ”Kukla, I’m sorry you’re a penis.”
Veruca asked me what “craft” means, as in “doing crafts.” I explained that it could be painting or drawing or modeling something from clay. She thought hard about this for a couple of minutes and then said “Okay, so I’d like to make a witch. You know, witchcraft!”
So, about this therapy I’ve been involved in. Most people won’t talk about their counseling sessions because they are so intensely private, but haven’t we determined by now that I don’t have appropriate boundaries anyway? I’ve been going once a week; I’ve had three sessions. This therapist is nice enough, I definitely do most of the talking — I like to get my money’s worth — and I usually arrive with some topic that is on my mind that I want to discuss. So, this is how the first three visits went:
Session 1: Background info on me and family.
Session 2: Talked about an old boyfriend of mine who has recently found himself on the news and in the newspapers after being arrested for some serious charges. I don’t want to get too specific, but the media is calling him “sexually dangerous.” I dated him for a year and he was the kindest, most gentle guy you could ever know. It’s been tough for me to deal with the knowledge that there is this other side that allegedly exists. A side that I never knew about, never had a glimpse of. It’s just hard seeing your prom date on the six o’clock news.
Session 3: Talked about filters. How I need to filter out some of the noise and stimulus I’m exposed to on a daily basis so I don’t feel so burdened by it. In this way, I guess I’m a little bit like Aspie. Everything around me feels like it’s on full blast and that makes for a very tired Wendie.
The reason that I typed out a little summary of my visits is to see if you, my observant and highly intelligent readers, can spot some glaring offense that I committed and am just plain unaware of. In all seriousness, I know I didn’t do anything wrong. If you show up on time, have excellent health insurance with liberal mental health benefits, make your copays and are willing to share, you’re doing therapy right. But at the end of session 3, there was an almost immediate and perceptible shift in the energy. She opened her book to schedule my next appointment, just as she had at the previous two meetings. She quickly glanced in her book and then said “Ah, my next appointment is here. Why don’t I call you a little later today and we’ll schedule something then?” She hastily ushered me out the door. And that’s the last I’ve heard from her.
In dating, I was usually the one who dumped the guy, but I watch Lifetime. It’s television for women, after all. I know what it looks, sounds and feels like when you are getting ditched. Of course, I also have fear of abandonment issues — another juicy little tidbit that I shared with her — and thought that maybe I was just being paranoid. It has now been ten days. I’m not paranoid. I totally and completely got dumped by my therapist.
I suspect she came here and read all the archives. Perhaps she finds me insane. Who knows?
It’s okay to laugh. I am.
I’m not seeing any reason as to why you’d be dumped… and if she did read your archives, I would expect her to have an ‘insanity specialist’ calling you. Lol.
I love your blog Wendie, you give me a reason to smile for the day, because of your writing voice. On bad days I can relate with you and on your best days, I wish I was able to be a fly on the wall. I’m glad to have discovered your blog.
I laughted hard enough to pop a stitch for the first part with DD calling your mom a penis. I’m now in pain, thank God for strong pain killers, but definitely worth it.
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admin Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Aw, if you actually have stitches, I’m sorry for that. I hope you feel better soon!
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Anonymous Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 12:33 am
Thank you Wendie. I don’t quite have stitches (I have a stent), but the pain that laughing that hard brought is well worth it.
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I didn’t even know therapists could break up with you like that! Seems unprofessional. So what are you going to do? Wendie…you’re such a penis!!
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admin Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
I’m not going to do anything. Tracking down my therapist to ask why she forgot me is kind of a confidence killer. Oddly enough, when I choose to open up to my friends or blog, I feel great. It’s when I shut down that I go to a dark place.
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I’m hoping she is just insanely busy. I work in the mental health field AND I see a therapist. A therapist worth her salt would tell you that “this isn’t a good fit,” and would keep in mind your abandonment issues and be sensitive to them.
Obviously, you didn’t do anything wrong. There is no wrong in therapy. Give her office and call and figure this out!
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admin Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Honestly, though? I’m an egotistical Leo. I don’t deal well with being forgotten. It did feel weird in the session though. Like I said something that scared her off. But for the life of me, I cannot think of one thing that I said that would be offensive.
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This sounds sketchy at best. Time for you to fire her. Life’s too short for that kind of crappy behavior. It kind of sucks to have to start over, but you’ve missed close to two sessions now. At least you were only 3 sessions in. I’m going to guess that this one has her own problems and you are already (most likely) the healthier one in this pairing.
What was your mom’s reaction to the penis comment?
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admin Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Her reaction? Speechless.
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Your therapist sounds like she has some issues of her own. That is completely unprofessional and highly insensitive. Better to get away now then later. I’m an egotistical leo too so I would be itching to confront her. Especially since I can’t see that you did or said anything to deserve it.
Did DD happen to say why he thought your mom was a penis?
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I think you should boil her pet rabbit.
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I think we should call more people out for being penises (not that your mom is a penis by any means, I’m just an advocate for more honesty in our day-to-day interactions as humans).
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sarah Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 9:59 am
where is the *like* button?!?
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Wendie, almost the same thing happened to me last year. I waited a month before I figured out my therapist was just never going to call me back. My husband said I should call him again, but with my abandonment issues I am afraid my therapist would confirm my fears and say “you are just too sick and I can’t help you.” It’s hard when people that we entrust with our problems do the exact thing we are afraid of. I had a very good friend do the same thing to me, just completely write me out of her life. Ugh.
I wish I had some helpful words other than, “been there, done that.” How about, “pick a new therapist, don’t give up on the process!”
xoxo Mo
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A similar thing happened to me a few years ago too. I think she’s just unprofessional and disorganized enough to have forgotten about her promise to call. Unless you really related to her in a big way I’d look around for someone new. Even if you did somehow scare her off (and I really doubt it, she would refer you to someone else in that case), you should probably find someone more reliable.
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I personally would seize the opportunity & break up with HER. Call her and tell her “Ya know, I’m just not feeling it – I think I am going to find another therapist. But you hang in there, I am sure you’ll find another patient to fill my spot. Maybe.” Yep, that would make me feel better, but that’s probably exactly why I should be seeing a therapist.
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