If you follow me over on Evil Beet you may already know this, but I have left the proverbial building. Gone. Resigned. Yesterday’s news.
2009 has been a year of extreme pain and growth. Why does growth always hurt? I learned a lot about myself this year. I wasn’t genuine this year. Fourteen months ago, when I landed my Evil Beet gig, I couldn’t believe that someone was actually willing to pay me to say what I wanted to say. I remember asking Sasha if I was, in fact, the only application she received. Being a paid writer was a huge accomplishment and one that I’ll always be proud of. So, why did I decide to leave?
My goal for 2010 is to be real. I know, I know … I’m pretty real on this site. But not real enough. I was thinking the other day that we all have thoughts in our minds that we would never give voice to. I don’t want to live that way. I want to be as raw and genuine as this universe will allow. I don’t want to write about celebrities anymore because I hate celebrities. In the large scheme of the planet, I am never, ever, ever going to care about Paris Hilton’s newest perfume launch. I don’t long to know who is going to win American Idol and Megan Fox just doesn’t impress me. I love reading about them and looking at pictures — I was always a visual gal — but I don’t want to be required to care about them. I don’t want to pretend anymore. Pretending and not being true to what was going on with my insides almost did me in this summer.
I don’t suggest that celebrity gossip was bringing me to the brink — quite the opposite. Writing at Evil Beet bolstered my confidence in my writing ability — Yes, even with all the haters — and I think it helped me hone my craft a bit. But it’s about to be a new year and things must be done differently. My heart is my family, my children, helping others, sharing of my own life experiences. I want to take many photos and movies and finish my book. I want to document my life; I’ve always wanted to capture as many moments in time as I can. When Veruca was curled up and sleeping at the ballet, I looked at her and was thinking that I’d never give her advice along the lines of “Don’t take a risk. Take the safe routes in life, kiddo.” And if it’s not good enough for her, it’s not good enough for me either.
I am going to the next level. I read a book recently written by a woman who lost half her body weight. She was engaging and sarcastic and just such an interesting read. I Google-stalked her to learn more about where she is today. As it turns out, she’s a web designer. A highly-esteemed web designer. I contacted her, we’ve been emailing and I hired her to create a whole new Mommytopia design. It will probably be a couple of weeks before you can see the differences; I hope you’ll like them.
This is my year. A year of leaps. Leaving the comfortable, abandoning the safe. I am going to live as purely and truly as I can. And I want to thank you for watching while we all see if I succeed or not.
Finally, as I strip away the masks and shields, if you aren’t already in the know, the children are Cory (Aspie), Grace (Veruca), and Jack (Devil Dog). You are welcome to refer to them by either set of names, but these are the real ones. And that’s what we’re going to be from now on.
wow. i think i want to be you when i grow up…
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Very Courageous and I am very excited to see what is next. You have helped me sort out a lot of the same things , hearing you talk about them was so therapeutic and helped me out so much. Becoming social again is so hard but so neccessary to participate in life.
Thank you for your work at Evil Beet, if it wasn’t for that site, I may not have found you and your writing. I enjoyed what and who you chose to write about while there and I am enjoying you sharing your life with us here. Very excited to see the new site! I love dreams coming true, don’t you!?
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Tara Reply:
December 3rd, 2009 at 2:53 pm
I agree with Jesse. Congratulations on taking the step forward. You were my favorite writer from Evil Beet. They are nothing without you, truly their writing is awful! I actually stopped reading EB and began coming to your site specifically. I look forward to more posts from you
Take care
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I’ll definitely miss your writings on EB…that’s one less procrastination tool I’ll have…sigh. However, I am very happy that you have the strength and courage to do what you feel is the right thing. Looking forward to your next installments here and/or elsewhere!
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Wow, Wendie. Your posts always make me feel some kind of emotion. Happy, Sad, Insanity, lol. This is your best post yet. I love how brutally honest you are. Reading the things you write honestly get me though some tough days and just regular ones too. I think i may have a girl crush on you. haaa.
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Xoxo!!!! So very excited and happy for you. You are an inspiration! Be blessed.
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I left you a comment on EB already, but I wanted to concur with Jesse. If it weren’t for Evil Beet, I would probably not have found Mommytopia, which I love. Your posts have made me laugh and cry, but more importantly, I relate to you and your experiences being a mom and that is a great feeling. Thank you for sharing Cory, Grace, and Jack with us and thank you for your time at EB. My favorite gossip blog won’t be the same without you, but thank God I still have my favorite mommy blog!
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Congrats to you taking the leap into the life you want to have. I look forward to following you along the way!
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I am RIGHT there with Jesse and Nicole. I wouldn’t have found you if it wasn’t for EB, so thanks for taking that gig… & thanks for the entertainment you brought over there. Your posts were my favorite. Quite honestly though, I enjoy reading Mommytopia A LOT more and am so excited for all the new changes with the site, and your life! I hope that when I’m a mother someday, I’m as rad as you. Haha.
Blessing to you and your family in with all the new adventures!!
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You are an amazing woman, Wendie! It took me a long time and an extremely personal trip to hell and back to realize that if I wanted the best for my children, or any kind of life at all, I had to want that same best for myself. Putting the past behind me where it belongs and waking up to a new day full of new possibilities EVERY SINGLE DAY, even if I didn’t feel like it. This life we have in front of us today is such a privilege, and it’s up to us to make the most of it. What a great deal of courage it takes to step out of that uncomfortable comfort zone that is so familiar to us we don’t know what else there is, but somehow know that there has to be something so much more that is ours for the taking. All my best to you, my friend.
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You are on a path of making major changes. I think that’s exciting. You are absolutely right to be true to who you are in this moment. Recognize the past for how it’s helped shape you today, take the positive lessons, explore and keep correcting your course until you find peace and fulfillment. You deserve happiness. The trick is to keep stumbling toward it and not listen to those doubts and fears.
If something isn’t good enough for your best friend or child, you’re right; it’s not good enough for you either. I’m so happy you are listening to yourself. (I’m also relieved that most commenters are supportive as well.)
I read Shauna Reid’s book a few months ago. I wonder if that’s the same person you googled?! Her story is fantastic. She’s the one who inspired me to give blogging a try.
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I will have to echo the sentiment of missing you at EB. It just won’t be the same without you. When you stopped writing on the weekends, I stopped reading on the weekends. Not. The. Same.
Having acknowledged THAT, I have to say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE the realness that is Mommytopia. No sugar coating here; just REAL life. Alive life. Warts and all.
You are an amazing individual – so brave, so unvarnished, so incredible. I will continue to relish each post and send everyone I know your way, because – let’s face it – EVERYONE can gain something by reading your words.
As you trek down your New Year’s path, know that you have touched a whole lot of lives and helped a pile of folks.
As always, YOU ROCK!!
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It really sucks you are leaving EB, because you were the only writer who had anything intelligent to say.
However, I am SO happy that you can dedicate more time to this site, and all of your other endeavors. I am really happy for you, and really proud of you, and really proud to be one of your followers.
Now, where is that novel??
<3<3
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So I was in a gossip stage at the start of your career at EvilBeet, then I got sick of gossip and celebs so I left and would only return when deathly bored. But I adored your writing, and luckily it led me here. Congratulations on moving forward.
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Thanks for the explanation … I wish I could be honest and say that makes it easier for ME, but in the spirit of your new course in life, I’ll be honest: SUCKS for me
Good for you
Oh, and I think we all knew it was Cory, Grace and Jack!!! LOL But I think Aspie, Veruca and DD are lovely pseudonyms and bring more character to your writing style
Congrats on your brave decision … fwiw, I’m not too far behind you!
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sarah Reply:
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:30 pm
~sucks for me too~
i too enjoyed the entertaining nicknames you gave your darling children and i think i will miss them
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I will miss you on EB, your sarcastic humor and wit always made me laugh. However as a mom of 3, mommytopia appeals to my real life side more and I look forward to reading things from you there.
Congratulations Wendie. I wish you all the best!
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*sniff* I like your posts on Evil Beet
Getting real though.. the best thing.
I never knew DD was Jack but I had seen the other two names, I cannot think of him as Jack xD
Wendie thank you for this blog, I think it is my favourite of all I read.
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Rock on, Momma.
I agree with all the sentiments above. I’m actually glad you’re leaving EB, because it seems like the right thing for you to do – you can focus on your own stuff/interests more.
I have a few tried and true quotes I throw out to people (mostly my kids) and as tired of hearing them as they are, they ring true.
“Be true to your own style.” -Chalene Johnson
“Whatever feels healthy…” and
“Don’t be a worrier, be a Warrior!” -Baron Baptiste
“Would you treat your children the way you treat yourself?” -Jillian Michaels
(this one’e really hard to follow)
Best wishes with the upcoming year.
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Wendie, so excited for you. The only reason I went to EB was to read your writing (which is where I found mommytopia). So, EB was a good move for the time because it seems you were able to lure fans over here.
I hope this means we will get more mommytopia postings! Can’t wait to see where this road will lead. You WILL achieve your dreams; too many people care about you to let you fall.
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Hey Wendie,
Just wanted to say good luck; it’s always a weird, deep-breath-inducing mixture of excitement and terror when moving on to new things, so I wish you the best. When I first started searching for something to distract me from writing my PhD thesis (!), EB did just that: it was intelligent, witty and concerned with all things emphatically not to do with Anglo-Saxon charms (which is what my PhD thesis is on). More importantly, as most of the other commenters say, EB led me to Mommytopia, and even though I’m not a mommy yet, Mommytopia has given me so much to muse over and consider, the day wouldn’t be the same without it.
So thank you, Wendie; you’re an enormously talented and brilliant woman, and I’m grateful that you opened this window onto your life.
Best,
Bex xoxo
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With you leaving EB, I have too. Your writing has set me a new standard of reading material for my spare time – i used to read the classic books as kids, how did i degrade to celebrity gossip? haha.
and this post….my God, you are an inspiration Wendie. Such an incredible woman.
I think they are such amazing, well suited names! If I didnt know you from FB and here, I’d swear you’d made them up for the internet, because they suit your sweet kids so well <3)
(and because I’m stalker-y like that, I already knew your kids names
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great post, great decision, great justification. Thank god you’ll still be here. This is better anyway. <3
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I’m so excited to follow you to your next gig!
And I love your children’s names
Good job on that.
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I’m grateful for your time on evil Beet, because it’s how I found Mommytopia. I love this site, it makes me laugh and cry and it just feels real to me. I can’t wait to read more in the future.
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I’m sure I’m not your demographic, being an “older” woman, but
I want to add to the chorus of appreciation for the snark at EB and the
honesty (and snark) at Mommytopia.
Perhaps one of the reasons “celebrity” gossip has gotten so old, is the fact
that if one has a few brain cells to spare, reading about (mostly) reality creeps
while the world is burning, isn’t a diversion anymore, it’s depressing and
frustrating.
Looking forward ti more from you.
Barbara
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Love your writing Wendie and glad I found you through EB. But celebraties are boring- your posts were the only thing I went there for. Like the “long version” over here better.
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I can’t really add much more to what others have said , I just wanted to wish you the best of luck , and I’m sure you’ll be brilliant at whatever you set your mind to.
your writing speaks to people on so many levels whether you’re being sarky about celebs or just keeping it real on here.I want to hug your words.
That’s not meant to be creepy but i can’t think of any other way of describing how your writing makes me feel .
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Wendie,
I don’t want to be a broken record here, so I’ll just say that I’m not sure I would have survived this horrible, horrible year without you, strange as that sounds. You’ve offered advice, made me laugh when I thought my world was coming to an end, and inspired me as both a blogger and a novelist (I’ll show you mine if you show me yours
). Thanks for everything–I hope you are aware of what a big difference you’ve made to a great many people.
I am proud to count myself as one of them, and I cannot wait to read the further adventures of you and yours on Mommytopia. You’re amazing!
xx KLo
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Ditto to all of the above. I so relate to your stories about yourself and your family. Looking forward to reading many more…
xoxo!
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Congratulations on being true to you! I’m excited to see the “real” you! ‘D
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ok, um, excuse me, can we get the name of the book now? i know i want to read it.
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You know, I followed you here from EB but I have to admit I’m here more than there. Do what makes you happy, Lady. You’ve never struck me as being a robot, and I think that’s what I like the best about you. Your ability to be real. I think you are paving an excellent path as a rolemodel for your kids as well. I look forward to seeing the changes here at Mommytopia : )
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Wendy,
Like others, I found you by reading EB. When I first found ‘well honestly now…’ I read every post you’d written on that page in a matter of days. You’re a fantastic, honest, hilarious writer. I don’t even read EB any longer, but I’m thankful that page introduced me to your writing.
I’ll miss Aspie, Veruca and Devil Dog’s funny names. But thankful you trust us.
Looking forward to reading you in the future.
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this was a beautiful post…
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Growth is good for the soul, Enjoy.
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Change is good, Miss Wendie. I am so happy for you and hope that everything will be according to your wishes. God bless you and your family.
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Wendie, I initially read Evil Beet for mindless entertainment and something to look at when bored, tired or needing a brief, entertaining break from life. But then, you were hired on and I could instantly tell which posts were written by you and I loved them! I started reading WHN and then onto mommytopia, which is my favorite by far. I love reading and your writing style is perfect. I have 2 little ones (one of whom is an “Aspie” ) and I love the fact that you are not afraid to express how you feel (good or bad). Some days I read your posts and I completely identify with how you are feeling – it is amazing to know that someone else on the other side of the country is going through similar experiences and is not afraid to talk about it. I wlll miss your writing style on the EB site, but that is okay because I will follow you on here! Apologize for the long message, but out of admiration for you, just wanted to thank you for all of your stories.
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I think it was because you hated celebrities (and also because of your native cleverness) that you became my favorite writer on EB. Writing from the perspective of the outsider can be effective because it is done against some inner resistance…this is my only misgiving about mommytopia (make no mistake, I wish you well)…namely, that without that same resistance, your writing may not develop the same muscle tone. However, on the principle that you’re good and deserving, I will follow.
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I too echo the above sentiments; I noticed you on EB and then devoured your personal blog during a slow day at work. As your writing there slowed down, I’d only click on the site to find the link for this one. I was a little panicked this morning when I realized that link was gone.
I hope you take all your well wishers as proof that you have the chops to write and I wish you luck. I think you’re also seeing that you have a lot of creepy internet stalkers… which you kind of did to yourself due to your awesomeness.
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I am so glad that Veruca is not really a Veruca, Grace is a much more of a beautiful name.
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Wendie –
I, too, found you on EB and have thoroughly enjoyed your wit and snark. I, too, probably won’t be going back to EB very often; this site has the tone I love from you, and it’s real. Best of luck, and I’m looking to stick with you through whatever you decide to do!
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Wow. I am surprised, but happy for you. I absolutely believe you’ve been the rainmaker on EB for a long time, and that will migrate & translate to your singular success with your personal business endeavor(s). Regardless, I am a fan, and will continue to tune it to Wendie-World, whatever that venue might be.
Here is my unsolicited business advice: you may want to consider changing the Mommytopia site name at this time as you change the web design, etc. I understand that you have to consider that you’d be diminshing your Mommytopia “brand”, but if you look back at the transformation of you/your personal growth/your site’s growth over the last year, I think you should consider having a more inclusive and broadly inviting brand/product name.
I have been a fan & follower, even though I am most certainly not typical of your target demographic when you started “Mommytopia”. I have no kids, no husband, and I’m a somewhat older (mid-40′s). You have a unique “voice”. You write with quality, wit, depth, and cleverness, regardless of the topic. That’s why you had me at hello, notwithstanding a site name that would most certainly have turned me away, had I not known you from EB. It was only after you won me as a fan on EB (and, way back when, asked people to come to your site to give Aspie a Happy Birthday post) that I decided to poke around and check out your personal blog…. Inspite of my intial reaction of a “Mommytopia” site holding no interest for me.
You made me interested in your kids, your life, IN SPITE you my inital impression of a Brand called “Mommytopia”. I think you need a broader brand concept & name, if you are to expand, grow, capture more of a fan/customer base. And, if that is your goal, than as part of an overall site transformation, you should do that now, while other change is already afoot. Of course, if growing and diversifying isn’t part of your motivation, that’s cool too…..I’ll still be showing up.
Sorry for the long post and unsolicted advice. I do wish positive things for you, both personally and professionally. There have been times when your writing has helped me more than you could know, and I hope my two cents are helpful. I’ll shut the fuck up now.
) Lynn
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admin Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Hi, Lynn! Glad to “see” you. Mommytopia didn’t exist in the days of Aspie’s birthday … that was Well Honestly Now. I hear what you’re saying and yes, in time I may actually follow that lead, but that small part of me thinks that if a chick who has a website that sounds a lot like “douche” can make it, maybe I can too.
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Lynn Reply:
December 5th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
If the “chick who has a website that sounds a lot like “douche” was a reference directed at me…. I don’t get it. I have nether a name, nor a website with a name, that rhymes with douche. I’ve never had a website of any name, nor a blog of any type, nor am I (quite obviously) a “writer”. I read you every day, and have for quite some time. So, I do “see” you often, though I rarely post a comment. My comments and “unsolicited” advice above was genuinely meant to be supportive and possibly helpful.
With all the changes currently going on with you (professionally & personally) and with you hiring a pro to do “web design”, I was suggesting maybe you’d want to talk to a pro about web marketing as well, if you hadn’t already. By no means do I consider branding or marketing a core competency for me, but I have been exposed to it throughout my career from colleagues who are pros. The question they routinely ask during product development is: “When naming a business or developing a product name, are you connecting with your target market?” When I thought about that question in regards to the changes going on w/ Mommytopia, my impression was you connect on a far larger scale than “just Moms”, as you had with me.
I guess it must have been “well honestly now” I linked to when I made my first stop and left a B-day message. My point was that my initial impression of you/your site (and what I remembered reading in your FAQs) led me to believe you were writing “for” and about Moms & kids. I eventually found your writing to be much more than that, and thought now might be the time to reflect that more clearly, if that is your goal.
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admin Reply:
December 5th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Oh my goodness, no! I was referring to dooce.com … another mommyblog.
Lynn Reply:
December 5th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Oh. Ok. Well good, and thanks for clarifying.
And you will most certainly “make it”…I mean, somebody has got to take up the space soon to be vacated by your friend & role model, St. Oprah. LOL
If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad (:
Goodluck!
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Congrats and best of luck Wendie! I sort of stopped going to EB mostly because I don’t care about Lindsay, Paris and Megan either, and some of the posters were getting a bit much, but I always liked your writing.
I do not care for your replacement writer, I feel like I’m reading the rantings of a 13 year old girl, so I likely won’t go there much at all anymore. However, as a person with no children (and I never wanted them) I probably won’t come here much either.
I wish you the best of luck in your career! Hey, you can always post anonymously on EB (truly evil, lol!).
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Lynn,
I have been in marketing/advertising for over 22 years and I have to say, in my experience of the internet I think you have to have the funniest post EVER.
Here’s why: this blog built it’s reputation by the person who is the brand. The name of the blog is the person and the brand as well. To suggest that it change with growth and be more “inclusive” and more “inviting” shows that your unsolicitated business advice is clearly a personal opinion and not based, in fact, or in any tried and proven method of branding or marketing. Even moreso your advice is for me and my staff, a bit laughable.
I think the funniest thing you wrote is who mommytopia’s target demographic is..how the f would you know? This is a name. Let me ask this: is Coke’s target demographic…uh, well according to you, people who drink coke? NO. It’s not. It’s demographic is NOT BASED IN A NAME. It’s the promotion and advertising that solicits the demographic and look, mommytopia is not advertising on MOMMY sites, or sites for middle aged Branding knowitalls who want to give out unsolicited advice.
If she were to change the “brand” as you have described it, she would changing what this started out to be and also confusing the readership, not the demographic. Do you even know the difference? Let me read your post again… hmmm. No you don’t know.
So let’s try an exercise in naming. Sony. What is their demographic by the name?
you want blogs?
Hollywood farm girl. Based on what you are saying, that blog is only trying to solicite to Hollywood Farmgirls.
dlisted: target according to you is people on the d-list. Well, I got A’s and B’s and I read it because the guy is hilarious…not because I’m on the d-list.
I think I made my point. You’ve derived a target audience and demographic out of the name of a blog/company.
I knew a company named This is it. I guess the demographic, according to you would be….this’s is’s and it’s?
if you need more professional branding advice, let me know.
~G
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hey, who has a website that sounds like douche? I think I’m the target audience for that…
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admin Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Ah, ha, ha! I know I am …
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Lynn Reply:
December 6th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Agreed.
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i will never come back (as god is my witness, etc. etc. etc.) if this becomes as self-congratulatory and condescending as the site that rhymes with douche. word.
promise me.
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admin Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Promise!
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