Last week after the skin biopsy appointment, I kind of had a meltdown.  Thankfully, I have a boss who didn’t fire me on the spot for my total instability.

It’s  not even worth retelling the tale, but nutshell:  the dermo couldn’t do a biopsy and unless I happen to have a serious blister attack when I’m within five miles of his office, he can’t do one.

And this is what I’ve realized:  I find not caring to be one of the most offensive actions on the planet.  Like, tell me you’re stupid.  Tell me I’m stupid.  Tell me you don’t know how to help me.  Tell me to find another doctor.  But…care.  Or act like you give a fuck about me, just as a human being, if only on the most base of levels.

I’ve just reached my limit with people who are unkind.  I know that “mean people suck” is a trite expression but you know, they really, really do.  I’m just done with mean people-it’s an advantage of being in your thirties.  You no longer suffer fools.

As therapy, I spent two days cleaning our garage.  It is a job of epic proportion and it isn’t done yet but there is something so satisfying in throwing things out, consolidating, making things prettier.  Putting everything in its place both in the garage and my mind; it gives me a feeling of semblance and control, which is something I really needed.

I have this tendency of letting anxiety, aggravation, pain build up instead of addressing it on an incident-by-incident basis.  I don’t ask for what I need and then I encounter some sixty-seven year-old skin doc who wants to get me out of his office within five minutes so he can collect my co-pay and get to the business of practicing his short game and I just sort of implode.

Enough of that fuckery.  Other exciting things on the horizon…

I’ve been in a weird space with food.  Because of the Celiac disease and the pain and anxiety that food now causes me, I have this fear of eating anything other than the five safe foods I’ve discovered.  And you really cannot live that way.  I mean, Ore Ida mini tater tots are the best, but I’ve had it with shredded potatoes.  Now, my newest thing is meat.  I don’t know how this happened but I can’t eat meat.  The thought of eating something that has bones in it, or once had bones, makes me dry heave.  I can’t even watch Chopped on Food Network without gagging.

Instead of totally freaking the freak out, I’m taking it as a sign that my body is speaking to me.  It’s time for a change and I can’t believe it but maybe this change is vegetarianism?  The one thing I can’t fathom giving up is bacon.  I have no respect whatsoever for the pig.  But I may make the full leap.  I don’t know yet.

I’ve been wanting to really get back on track with clean eating and fitness because I know I need to take the next steps with my site and start more promoting and vlogging.  Yes, friends, videos of me talking about all sorts of random topics!  To do this, I need to feel like I’m in tip-top shape, physically and mentally.  Oh, and not too much info yet but there may be some TV and radio opportunities for me through Evil Beet, so self-confidence is something I need to be focused on.

Kids are good, Aspie is home on vacation this week and has been walking around in his robe all day like Hef, Veruca is flipping out because she says she can’t move her eyes (she can) and that means she’s no longer growing (she is) and Devil Dog just passed Veruca in the body weight and shoe size game.